Anti Cosmo's thoughts
by gery900
Summary: Anti Cosmo. He is truly a mastermind. What was he thinking through the episodes he appeared in.
1. That Old Black Magic

**Ok here goes. I figured this was the perfect time to try my take on Anti Cosmo's thoughts during most episodes.

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That Old Black Magic

Me and my darling Wife Anti Wanda were out near the barrier , like we always are every on Friday the thirteenth. Then we heard voices outside the barrier. I floated down to hear better.

"And if these Anti Fairies want to get to earth they will have to go through me" Jorgan's voice said.

"They already have gotten through" said the voice of a boy I knew well enough, Timothy Turner, the god kid of my opposite Cosmo, also known as Timmy.

"Not my shift" said Jorgan's voice. I heard a pound on the ground.

"No one is aloud in Anti Fairy World" Jorgan's voice said. I sighed.

"Then I wish they were all out here" I heard. This was something us Anti Fairies had been waiting for, for centuries.

"No" said my wife's opposite.

"Noooooooooo" said Jorgan's voice. Then we all made it out in a whirlwind of anti fairies. I came out shortly afterward wanting to see the boy who had set us free. I got a brief look at him.

"Hey I wanna... Listen you I... I need to have a word with... Why won't they stop?" Timothy said. I came forward.

"Actually Timothy, Why should we?" I asked.

"Cosmo?" He asked while pushing those anti fairy goggles up. He squinted. Then put the goggles back on.

"I'm the Anti Fairy Cosmo" I said matter-of-factly while anti poofing a teapot up "I'm not an idiot in any manner whatsoever" I then poured some tea then drank it.

"And I'm the Anti Wanda" my wife said "I'm incredibly stupid and eat with my feets"

"You see, we've been trapped behind that blasted barrier for centuries" I said "but we knew some Friday the thirteenth, some child would be stupid enough to have his fairies bring him here and wish all of us free"

I floated closer to him and said "Your our hero, our big stupid hero" I anti poofed up a dunce cap and a doh medal. Then posed for a picture. My wife ate the flash bulb, then we flew off.

We managed to get out to earth in a matter of minutes through a magical door that I would bet was left by Timothy and his godparents. Then we did bad luck all over the world. But then Timothy managed to trick us to come into the desert, and then through the door to fairy world.

"Tarnasion, that buck tooth punk tricked us back into fairy world"

"Don't worry, we'll get back, whose going to stop us?" I said. Karma was not on our side. Jorgan came into the room. Darn our luck.

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**Well there you go. I hope to do all the episodes with Anti Cosmo in them. Luckily there aren't that many of them. I don't think I'll be able to do the Jimmy/Timmy 2 movie because I have no idea where on the internet to look for that movie. **


	2. The Gland Plan

**Ok chapter 2 of Anti Cosmo's thoughts.

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_The Gland Plan_

It started out pretty normal. Well until I noticed that my faggigly gland was going good. I knew this meant that my counterpart's faggigly gland was going bad since we're opposites. I was right because soon after my counterpart and his wife and godchild showed up.I couldn't tell because I wasn't wearing my monocle.

"Yes. This is where we keep the truly evil prisoners. Like him!" Jorgan said "Anti Cosmo"

I stepped forward and said "Hello, Clarice"

"Who's Clarice"

"Ah, so sorry. Can't see a thing without my monocle" I said while putting my monocle back on.

"I don't like this. Anti-Cosmo is the opposite of Cosmo; smart, evil...smart" said Timothy.

"Relax, child. I know you're here because Cosmo's faggigly gland is going bad" I said.

"How do you know that?" my idiotic counterpart said.

"Because I'm the opposite of you, Cosmo, you ignorant boob, and my faggigly gland" I said while changing into a cow to show my point "is going good. Moo! My days as an anti-fairy are coming to an end. Our only chance is for Jorgan to let me out of here so Dr. Rip Studwell can transplant our faggigly glands into each other"

"Really? It is all up to me? Let me see... I don't like you, and I don't like you" Jorgan said while turning to both me and Cosmo. Then he threw them all out.

But I knew that they would not give up. Good guys were so predictable. Boy you think their prison track escape would work, but I guess I should have measured that stick. I tried to pole vault my way out, but I crashed into the wall.

Then there was the whole balloon ride idea. That one had it's credits. But Cosmo messed it up by turning into an anvil.

"Cosmo you ignorant boob" I said. Then we fell. Then Jorgan kicked them out. I had lost all my patience after that. So I sent them a truly brilliant plan.

This one almost worked but my wife messed it up. We then ran for it. Cosmo led us to a locked door.

"Cosmo you ignorant boob, it's locked"

"Yeah, but you know that unmentionably horrible job I said I hated, that job was being a magic key" Cosmo said "So many dark locks, so cold,it's so cold"

"Yes, yes, let me summarize, Cosmo's an idiot, we're very lucky, now if Cosmo can stay a key for about five seconds we can get out and find our doctor" I summarized.

After a few bad transformations Cosmo managed to turn into a key. He managed to unlock the door, and we made it out of there. We came to a golf course and found Doctor Rip Studwell.

"Doctor Studwell, we're here with Anti Cosmo for the transplant" Wanda said

"Fantastic, I've got good news" Doctor Studwell said

"and a bad news" Cosmo, Wanda, and Timothy said at once.

"and more good news" Studwell said "The first good news is you just made it" We all cheered "The bad news is we don't have time to get to the hospital" we all awed "but the other good news is" he changed into his doctor outfit "I'm a fairy doctor"

The surgery was quite painful. I managed to escape. But I called Cosmo on my phone and told him that I felt no reason to do battle but I warned him not to look for me, but he did anyway.

"I said don't look for me" I said then waved towards Timothy and Wanda "Bye Timmy, bye Wanda" Then I realized what I had said "Oh, Oh No"

Then I poofed away. For I feared that more then our faggigly glands got transplanted.

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**Well there. I really love this episode. Anti Cosmo acting like Cosmo is always funny, and it makes a great plot device in fanfics. I know because I used it in one chapter of The Blackest Rose. Ah my first fan fiction. **


	3. Fairly Odd Baby

**Chapter 3 of Anti Cosmo's thoughts.

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_Fairly OddBaby_

It had started out as a pretty normal day. Me and my anti fairies were discussing how to take over the universe. Unfortunately no one had any truly evil ideas.

"C'mon, people, think! Universal Domination is not just going to come bursting through that door!" I said. Oh how wrong I was there, for a few seconds later Timothy, Wanda and Jorgan came bursting through said door.

"Freeze, Anti-Fairies! We know you've kidnapped Cosmo and our Fairy Baby and are planning on using his slash her uncontrollable magic for Universal Domination!" Timothy said. A moments silence filled the room.

"What's this? Cosmo is having a Fairy Baby who's uncontrollable magic we can use to take over the universe?" I asked.

"Um...no" All three of them said. But I didn't believe them.

"Quick! Anti-Fairies! Take to the skies! We must find Cosmo and his baby and take over the universe!" I said while floating up. Then I led my anti fairies away. I was no idiot so I knew the first place to look. Timothy beat us there. I listened to them.

" Freeze, Pixies! We know you've kidnapped Cosmo and our Fairy Baby" Wanda said. I busted in and finished her sentence.

"and are planning on using his slash her uncontrollable magic for Universal Domination!" I finished.

"Wait a second, Cosmo's having a fairy baby and we can use his slash her undeveloped magic for universal domination?" HP asked.

"Uh...no" We all said. He didn't believe us.

"Quick, Pixies. To the limousines. We must find that fairy baby and take over the universe." HP said. Then he led his pixies out of there. I was not going to let him.

"Not if we find it first!" I said. I flew away. But I had a plan. I figured Timothy and his fairy friends would find Cosmo. So I had a plan to keep Doctor Rip Studwell out of the way and disguise myself. It wasn't to hard. I managed to lure Studwell away from the hospital with a few free golf tickets. Disguising myself wasn't to hard. They showed up. Cosmo yelled in pain. I managed to disguise my voice easily.

"Don't worry, Cosmo. Everything's looking fantastic! On me. You on the other hand sound like you're in a lot of pain." I said doing pretty well at acting like Studwell.

"No...childbirth...is..eee! a..wonderful...AAAAAGH" Cosmo said.

"Can't you do something about this, Dr. Rip Studwell?" Wanda asked.

"I have just the thing" I said poofing up earmuffs for everyone. They worked a little too well. You couldn't hear anything. Cosmo poofed them off.

"GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" Cosmo shouted.

"Fear not, Cosmo. Dr. Rip Studwell is on the case. Now...does anyone here know how to deliver a fairy baby?" I said. I knew someone had to figure out how.

"You mean, you don't know how?" Timothy said in alarm.

"Timmy, a fairy baby hasn't been born in thousands of years. No one knows how. Let's see if this button does something." I said. Then pressed the button. It slammed the bed multiple times.

"He-he! Yeah it does!" I said in amusement. Seeing Cosmo hurt was enjoyable.

"There's got to be something we can do to get our baby out of him! Can't I just wish it out?" Timothy asked.

"Ha, ha ha ha ha. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. As far as I know baby delivery is a highly intricate and complexicated medical procedure. You can't just wish it out...can he?" I said.

"'I'M A VERY UN-COMPLEXICATED PERSON! WISH IT OUT! WISH IT OUT!" Cosmo said.

"Okay, okay! I WISH OUR BABY WAS OUT" He said. Wanda granted the wish. It was out. I managed to poof up an angelic choir.

"The angelic choir is going to cost you extra" I said. The moment was so beautiful. I could almost vomit from it.

"Oh, Cosmo. Our baby is beautiful" Wanda said.

"Is it a boy or a girl? Is it a boy our a girl? I gotta know, I GOTTA KNOW!" Timothy said.

"Excellent question. Let me just take it outside where the light is better and find out" I took the baby, and flew towards the door. I was all set to take it out of there. Those fools would have never known what happened. But Karma was not on my side, for the pixies dressed as Jorgan came in.

"Not so fast, "Dr. Rip Studwell." Or should I say...Anti-Cosmo!" they said while ripping off my disguise. Timothy and the fairies gasped

"Oh, poo" I said upset that my cover was blown.

"Ha! Good thing I was here to save the baby from your evil clutches! Now let me take it outside where the light is better and make sure it's safe..." they said, but I had figured them out at that point.

"Not so fast, "Jorgan"! Or should I say..." I said while ripping their disguise off "Pixies in a Jorgan suit!" More gasps.

"Darn. I really thought the Jorgan suit would work this time" HP said.

"Well, it did get us into that club in Rio" Sanderson said. Then Mama Cosmo came in.

"Oh, give me my grandchild! There, there. I'll just take him slash her outside where the light is better now and look at the..." She started, but the real Jorgan came in.

"Not so fast, "Mama Cosmo"! Or should I say..." He said while trying to rip off a disguise that wasn't there.

"Wow. This one is really glued on there" Jorgan said. Then Wanda grabbed the child.

"Give me back our baby! None of you has the slightest idea how to keep it safe, warm and loved" she said before it was revealed that the baby was not in the blanket.

But then it turned out that Turner had the baby. They managed to get away. Then there was a huge rocket chase. HP pointed out that there was no need for rockets when we could fly. I managed to figure out that Turner must have the child on Earth. So then I teamed up with HP. I figured that would make twice the evil. We used the Jorgan disguise again, then poofed to earth. Where there was all kinds of natural disasters.

"See how much damage you have caused? Give me the baby, Turner, and I will train it to control its unpredictable magic! Trust me" I said.

"No! I'll never" he started but then got hit with lightning after the baby burped "you have my blessing" he handed the baby over.

"Ha! I cannot believe you fell for that again!" I said before ripping the disguise off. To reveal me and HP.

"And look! We've teamed up to double the danger" I said.

"Good-bye, Timmy Turner. Forever. HA! HA HA"

"Ooh, wonderful evil laugh, HP"

"Not as wonderful and evil as yours, A.C"

"A.C.? I like that!" I said before we poofed away.

Now I was sure out evil plan would work. It was absolutely perfect, but I guess I should have considered the possibility of the good guys knowing enough about the baby's powers to know how to use it to there advantage. But boy did they use it to there advantage. Before you know it we were magically changed into raisins. Oh I'm glad to be out of raisin form now. That was horrible. But now I know not to underestimate Turner again.

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**Ok there. I really can't wait to do Fairly Odd Olympics next. That is going to be so much fun. That episode I really was hoping AC would win. I can't wait to write his POV. Wow this was long. Which isn't so surprising considering how often AC showed up disguised or not.**


	4. Fairly Oddlympics

**Chapter 4 of Anti Cosmo's thoughts.

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_Fairly Oddlympics_

It was an extremely exhausting day. Me and my wife had made a pizza pie. Now you may think that's strange, but we had a reason. We made it because we knew Jorgan and the pixies would be making one to prove that they were the greatest in the universe. Well they would be thinking twice. Once Timothy tasted ours. Yes Timothy was the judge. It was mostly because he was the perfect judge. We made it in time.

"Now tell me that's not better than Jorgan's slice of pure rabbit droppings" said HP from inside. We busted through the door.

"Don't say a word Timmy Turner, not until you tried" I said bring out a pizza.

"Our Friday the thirteenth lovers pizza" My wife said. I shoved the pizza in his mouth before he could refuse.

"Its the pizza that gives you bad luck" I said proudly. I watched as he swallowed it. Then an anvil, safe, and piano fell on him. Jorgan got him out.

"Turner, tell them the pizza made by fairies is the best in the universe" Jorgan said.

"No, tell Jorgan that Anti fairy pizza is the best in the universe" I said.

"No Mine"

"Our you piping mad" I said. Then a fight got started, leading to the building exploding.

"Back off, Timmy's tired of being the guinea pig in your whose the best in the universe contests" Wanda said.

"But Wanda, Timmy's not a fairy, pixie, or an anti fairy, which makes him the perfect judge" Jorgan said.

"Well what about an anti fairy godchild, go blow up their mouths" He said.

"We don't have god children, we're the opposite of fairies, remember" I said. Oh how I wished that we did. Having to be the opposite of fairies did get ridiculous. Just once I would love to have something that those goody goody fairies had. The concept of a godchild had always sounded perfect. To watch out for a child and teach it morals, or at least what I considered morals.

"And I'm surrounded by pixies who tell me what I wanna hear all day, watch" HP said poofing up his phone "Who's the greatest"

"You are sir" the pixies said simultaneously.

"Suck ups" HP said.

"Fine you really want to know which one of you whose the greatest in the universe," Timothy said "then we'll find out the way we do it on earth. We're gonna get everyone on a level playing field that tests their strengths, endurance and ability to look good in tight stretchy pants, cause its time for the first ever FAIRY WORLD GAMES. "

Well It was a pretty good idea. Testing us with this kind of thing, but it did prove to be a bit unfair playing against Jorgan. Luckily me and HP managed to disguise ourselves as girls, but not very well. I swear the Jorgan costume looked more convincing, but we didn't get much time so it was the best disguises we could get. Luckily Jorgan was an idiot. We had him knocked out in no time.

"Hey, its raining knocked out Jorgan's, now I can compete in the games" Cosmo said stupidly.

"You mean lose the games" HP said as we poofed back to normal "after all you fairies know your nothing without Jorgan"

"That's not true, fairies are amazing, and they can totally beat you without Jorgan" Timothy said.

"Oh really, care to put your money where your bucked tooth mouth is" I said for I had gotten an idea.

"Bring it on" Timothy said.

"Ok if the fairies win like you say we'll do anything you want" HP said.

"Sounds fair" Timothy said.

"But if the anti fairies win, you accompany me back to anti fairy world and be my evil god child forever" I said happy at the thought while anti poofing up the image.

"Come again" Timothy said.

"and if the pixies win you will accompany me back to pixie world and be my evil office boy forever" He said poofing up that kind of image then poofing it away. It was a well thought plan. We knew Timothy would not say yes right away, so we did the whole cluck cluck cluck thing to convince him. Then soon after we resumed the games. Me and HP starting cheating to gain some points. Finally after a huge amount of events, HP and I decided it was a good time to gloat a bit. So we poofed over to where Timothy was.

"Hello Future evil god child," I said anti poofing up a pair of shorts "look I've already picked you out a some evil shorts for when we go to ball games, go fishing, and take over the universe" I anti poofed the shorts on him.

"and I brought you some evil office supply's" HP said handing him the supply's "look an evil cell phone that connects to me directly" the phone rang.

"Hello" Timothy said.

"Hi Timmy" HP said. Timmy screamed. The announcer guy told him to calm down.

We were sure that we were going to win. But then Turner started making some come backs. I could not believe it. But then Timothy chose Cosmo for the last event. There I was racing against HP, determined to make sure that I would finally get a god child of my own. I really didn't think Cosmo could beat us. But he did. But what was even more amazing was that Turner spared us from doing anything embarrassing. I couldn't believe it. It almost made him more worthy of being a god kid in my eyes. Cosmo and Wanda were lucky to have him as a god kid.

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**Well there. I've always liked to think that maybe the reason AC wanted a god kid so much was because he was jealous of those who did, and he found his chance in the fairy oddlympics, and by the end of the episode he might have gotten a bit more respect for Timmy. Ok I think that maybe the last current episode with AC. But that doesn't mean this fanfic is over. So if any AC episodes end up on the internet you may see more here. **


	5. Balance of Flour

**Chapter 5 of Anti Cosmo's thoughts.

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_Balance of Flour_

It was another brilliant plan. I had disguised myself as a giant frosted scone. I had just succeeded in stealing the fairies brownies, so that I could use it for myself. But I failed.

But then using a pair of ex ray glasses I managed to see Timmy Turner get the recipe inside his head. I knew this was the perfect opportunity to suck the information out of his head.

I managed to disguise me and anti Wanda as Turner's parents. But unfortunately the mind vacuum accidentally ripped off our disguise. But that wasn't gonna stop us. We managed to suck those stupid fairies in to it. But Jorgan came in and beat us.

So then we disguised ourselves as Jorgan and his grandmother. Then we successfully captured Timmy, or at least we thought so.

It turned out it was really Cosmo in disguise. I can't believe we were fooled so easily. Once again my attempt to finally get a godchild was in vain.

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**Yes I know this one is short. But I didn't really want to put the dialogue in. **


	6. Anti Poof

**Chapter 6 of Anti Cosmo's thoughts. I'm doubtful that anyone is going to read this.**

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_Anti Poof_

I was at home watching the fairy news. I got so upset that they were talking about the fairies again, that I blew up my TV again.

"FAIRIES" I shouted, "They get all the press,"

I threw my hands up and shouted "Why, anti fairies have accomplished so much. Spiders, paper cuts, Pink-eye, crazy cow disease."

I listened to the moo from one of the cows in another room.

"That was all us."

Then my wife grabbed another pillow which she used to make another sandwich.

I flew over after she ate it.

"Good day my evil little crumpet."

She burped. I told her to slow down on those sandwiches. Then she said she had cravings.

"As do I, I crave equality."

I poofed up the chart with us and our opposite counterparts. Then pointed each of us out, and pointed out that there was no anti poof.

Then when my wife landed on me with all her weight and had a few strange symptoms. That's when I realized something.

"There is going to be an anti poof, your going to have an Anti baby."

That's when she went into the anti fairy labor.

Once the smoke cleared we met the little guy. He was just as I imagined him except I didn't expect the facial hair. But who cared.

After the other two couldn't figure out a name, I pointed out that his name must be Foop.

"Hmm, that sounded much more evil in my head."

That's when Foop realized that there was another fairy baby. I guess I should have realized what he was planning. But I didn't. He asked where Poof was now.

"He's in fairy world."

"Then that's where I shall go."

Then shortly after that that's when I realized that he was going to destroy poof. I quickly told him what I thought. But I guess parenting wasn't my strong suit. He left, and changed anti fairy world into Care World.

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Then a little while later on the television, Turner posted a cry for help, at least that's what I like to think of it. We of course went because we didn't want to look like care fairies anymore. Then he explained that we could stop Foop if we all sang a lullaby. So we did, and Foop fell asleep.

Then Turner suggested to change everything back we needed to get him to cry. So Poof did it. Then we all changed back. Then Foop was sent to abracatraz prison for a time out.

Me and anti Wanda managed to sneak a cake with a filer(**I don't know what its called**.).

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**Yeah this was long. I know. But it was a long episode.**


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